VULNERATOR NON VINCITUR
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2NE1 X INTEL Make Thumb Noise Promot Pictures!
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Weekend: relax reader / Fin de semana: relax lector (ilustración de Daryl Zang)
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but how do you stop?
how do you stop re-reading it; how do you know how to let go?
I feel…
I was trying to find myself back. And all the running around have split myself up into different parts. I’m from different times, I’m of different types, I’m at a few places at one time. I’m living in different dimensions.
By trying to live in the moment, I find myself not belonging to any one constant moment. Which is kinda silly.
You belong in that moment. That moment is passing. You don’t belong anywhere. If it’s passing, it’s not constant, it’s not a moment. I sound like I just smoked some but really, I’m just pretending to be spontaneous. It doesn’t make sense.
In conclusion… In trying to find myself, I’m recreating myself to be something I’m not. I’m not the same anymore, but yet I find myself to be entirely different.
This is Version 2.5. Not Version 3 because I feel so deconstructed. (Yet I feel I can’t be more whole, but that’s another crazy illogical topic to talk about another day.)
It was really quite a shame that we started talking less and less and… no more.
I imagined endless conversations, when days and nights get mixed together and time stopped mattering.
We had really good conversations. Even the silence was alright.
Maybe we just used up all the good topics. Maybe we could talk about why we stopped talking.
What’s the average number of conversations you can have with someone until you get sick of them? Or there’s just nothing more you can discover? Or you just feel that you have known enough?
What’s the lifespan of a relationship before it turns sour? When do you start becoming comfortable and complacent? Where does the spark go? How do you get the initial butterflies back? What does it mean at the end of it all? Does it still hold any meaning if it eventually ends?
How do I know that we could enjoy each other for the rest of our lives?
What happens when you see the end?
They told me my head was up in the clouds. I came back to reality.
Now the reality is cold and hard and I can’t fall asleep. Could it be because of this that’s why I can’t dream anymore?
I can offer comfort. I can tell you where to find strength. I can take away momentary loneliness. I can shine the light. I can lend you my shoulder and my ears. I can hold you to sleep. I can give you back what you’ve lost.
And nothing more.
只剩空心要不要？
Why do I suddenly feel its a bad idea?
I remember telling you that I’ve been the kind to always see the goal and decide if I wanna even start doing something. And I’ve changed myself to just let things be and let them happen naturally. Collecting signs along the way, along the path. And now, with this question — am I going down the right path? Factoring your sacrifices that will have a definite effect on your future, whichever way you might choose. I can’t tell you if it will be the right path. But I can tell you that at whichever destination you end up at, that’s where you can find me.
Come on. What else can’t you take?
Vulnerator non vicintur. Take it by the neck. Conquer. You can do this.
There are many people whom I will do many things for, no questions asked.
There are many people whom don’t deserve anything. I hope they will crawl to the corner and silently die.
Not many people are worth it. And I don’t have the capacity to make everyone happy.
We are all selfish animals.. it’s about time everyone come to terms with that.
A little sadness is good. A little pain won’t hurt.
Perfection isn’t perfect.
You… don’t make any fucking logic.
I used to feel the best when I’m with you.
But I have learnt that history, the good ones, never repeats itself.
How does it feel to know that I love you, baby?
Knocking on the door but nobody’s answering. I should stop before my knuckles bleed.
Maybe no one is home.
I can’t wait to strip you raw and etch your bones.